"FRIGGIN' GULIANNI!!!!" <-quote from R. Gulianni, Saturday Night Live

The following events occurred Tuesday May 19, 1998, 6:30pm (did you see it?)

Hey Now!

I had just gotten out of work and lit a nice joint (half a Club Cabaret), while walking on 8th Ave in front of the WorldWide Plaza. Crossed the Ave on 50th and someone grabbed me by the shoulder and said "hey you, come here." Well, I of course swallowed the joint, all the while with them (4 of them) pushing me against the boards, threatening me with, "spit it out or we'll take you in", and "I was just going to give you a summons now I'm going to have to bust you."

While two of them held me against the boards the other two went through my pockets. Eventually they found my sneak a toke and 1/2 oz. of herb. The cop on my left, was so pleased with himself when he found the plastic baggie. I proceeded to state my case, "cmon you guys, I just worked 10 hours doing legal work and so I light up after work, give me a break." "Can't you just drink like everyone else," the arresting officer says to me. I tell him that my father is an alcoholic and I'm not, in part because I smoke pot. "Oh so you're a drug addict instead," says the young tuff cop, his brutish ignorance bringing up the slightest tinge of fear, but I continued.

"Marijuana is not addictive, in fact no where near as addictive or dangerous as the herb you guys are smoking," pointing to the cigars three of them had. "This is a herb?" one says, looking at his cigar. I continued to lecture them (politely as I could, the young tuff looked like he wanted any excuse to slam me into the fence) on the value of hemp, pointing out my hemp jacket, and hemp Headwaters. I remind (Ha) them of the gov's "Hemp for Victory" production, and how important hemp was to the colonial patriots. I reaffirm what a waste of their valuable crime fighting skills and time it is to be busting an upstanding, hardworking single parent like myself. This really riles the young tuff, and he bellows at me, this guy is just going to write you a summons, and you're telling him he's wasting his time, we should send you to Riker's.

By this time the ride comes, (I've been handcuffed on the corner of 50th and 8th this whole time, a spectacle of sorts), the arresting officer is starting to apologize to me, "I'm just taking you in to check on outstanding warrants, if you're clean I'll write you a summons and you'll be right out of here." We ride to the precinct, the driver asks the arrestor how his kids are. After he answers, I ask him how old they are, he tells me (he just had his second, and I do wish him well as a parent), and asks me how old my kid is (I already told him I am a single parent). I tell him 16, and he does a double, asking me "well, how old are you?" I tell him my age (42), and he shakes his head, I thought you were barely in your thirties, you sure look young. "What if I told you that's because I smoke pot?" I ask him. He chuckles and says "I think I might start smoking the stuff."

When we get to the station, he's asking me to stop laughing and joking around, and "don't tell anyone in here I saw you smoking, it's a different offense." He processed me (pictures no prints) ran warrants, and in about 15 min. came to return my stuff and release me. He actually apologized for taking my pot (little less than 1/2 oz of mexi brick) and slipped me my full sneak a toke telling me to "hide this." I walked out the door, summons in hand, and pipe in my pocket. I exercised all the restraint I could and walked to the corner of 8th Ave before I lit up!

I'm going to send the ticket in today with a Not Guilty plea, see what happens. My intention of course will be to maximize the hassle and expense to the system, until it is expedient for them to dismiss the charge rather than incur the costs of prosecution. It is my RIGHT to smoke the herb anywhere that tobacco can be smoked. This gang of undercover cops with their stogies hanging from their mouths, violated my civic peace and insulted my day. THEY ARE WRONG, and ignorant of the implications behind their fascist behaviors. They really believe they are doing GOOD, and in some ways I pray they are. But hassling marijuana smokers, which seemed to be their focus this evening, is a terrible waste of the taxpayers, and their own, resources. And next time I might look around a little before I blissfully light up ;-)

Piper's Pipe Page